Single, hating it, and not sure how to meet boys interested in me.

Growing up, I was asexual/aromantic and didn't know it at the time. There were people who I liked, but showing affection such as holding hands or kissing made me incredibly uncomfortable. I had short 'relationships' (if you could call them that) that lasted less than a week at a time. I was never good at sharing my emotions, so it wasn't until later in life when I could articulate what was going through my head at the time (one of the girls I 'dated' in high school I am still best friends with).Now, fast forwarding a bit. I've grown out of asexuality to becoming a pansexual, demisexual, and having a stronger romantic attraction to men than to women. I'm still awful at sharing my emotions which has manifested itself by having a small group of close friends. I'm not in the closet, but I also don't believe that a persons sexuality should be imperative information to interact with them. As a result, most of the people I've met since starting college three years ago do not know of my sexuality. Especially so since I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve.Now, I really want a boyfriend. I want someone who I feel safe being emotionally vulnerable to, be comfortable cuddling with, and naturally, I really want sex. I periodically go into depressive episodes where I want a boyfriend, and try to find an avenue to get there. I've tried OkCupid and Grindr, but I've deleted those accounts every time I try because putting my face on the internet like that makes me feel exposed and I turtle up. Likewise, I cannot find any person attractive because I'm far too held up by things like wondering what the person's personality is, if we're compatible, and most importantly if I can refer to them at any point as my best friend. Like hell if I could bring myself to actually try to talk to anyone.In the real world, anyone I know to be or could be gay, I'm not interested in. Any boy who I am interested in is straight and not interested in me. Any effort to seek someone out leaves my anxious and I turtle. I don't know what to do in this situation and I don't know if there is anyone that exists whom I can feel that comfortable with, much less one in my area.tl;dr I'm emotionally distant and need to be good friends with the person to feel attracted. This can be hard because I like to share my interests, and my interests are things like video games, math, programming, science, by most definitions boring topics.