(Posting from a throwaway account for privacy purposes.)
So I'm in my 20's. I've never dated -anyone- before (though I've known I was queer for more than half my life). After some 20-some-odd years of living, I've finally reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable/free enough to start getting myself out there. So I get out there. Then there's this girl: let's call her P. I met P on a lesbian dating app. We talked for a couple of weeks, and she offers to meet me for coffee. It goes well. She says, "We should do this again sometime." We do it again sometime, except with drinks at a bar. This is where things started getting strange. It being near Valentine's Day, and with me having no idea how to romance women (or romance at all), I ask her in a pathetically awkward way at the end of the night if we're just hanging out as friends or if there's potential for something more, and if so, would she like to do something on Valentine's Day (in hindsight, I was totally jumping the gun here, but in my defense, I just prefer clearer boundaries from the get-go). She says she's not looking for anything right now, and words fumble out of my mouth because I'm awesomely awkward like that. Luckily, she tells me that she likes hanging out with me, and I shouldn't feel hesitant in asking her out (presumably as friends) in the future. Fast forward some days, and we hang out again - this time, in a group, specifically, her + me + my coworkers. I offer the group thing because I'm afraid she'd feel uncomfortable meeting me alone. It goes all right. I'm kind of bummed because she seems to talk to everyone except for me during dinner. She sits far away from me, and I'm generally too nervous as fuck to look in her direction very much or initiate much conversation. When the crowd dies down, my best friend + her + me go to a bar to talk/chill. Things seem to normalize, though my friend feels we don't have any "romantic chemistry." Fast forward again a few days later, and we hang out again with a different group of friends. I notice that she's actively avoiding me. Sitting far away, little-to-no eye contact, and the most terse exchange of words. She hits it off -really- well with my friends (a heterosexual couple) the entire night though, and all of a sudden I feel like an out-of-place spectator. At the end of the night, she thanks me for inviting her. I tell her, "Yeah, anytime. Don't be a stranger," to which she replies, "I'll try."
(Note: I did -not- try to do anything couply with her ever. Especially after she told me she wasn't looking for anything. The only exception to this, however, would perhaps be the first time we met, when I offered to pay (denied) and just generally acted like a spastic teenager on her first date.)
SO. Now I'm here, totally clueless as to how to make heads or tails of everything up until now. I've already crossed dating off the list, but at this point, it feels like that night was the last night we'd ever meet up, ever -- as friends or acquaintances or otherwise. Which is a bummer because frankly, she's very cool. I did wonder if her behavior may have been due to not feeling comfortable outing herself. Then I remembered that somewhere along the night, she mentioned that she's gay to the group (I'm also out to my friends), so it wasn't that.
Augh. I don't know! Send help, fellow raptors!
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