[Serious] How to embrace and explore masculinity? (Probably controversial?)

I feel like this is unnecessarily thought out and I just need to chill, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while, and I'm curious as to other gay guys opinions and experiences with this.I grew up with all woman (sisters, aunts, mom, grandma. All in the same house..) and no real prevalent, primary father figure. I embraced femininity, and became particularly familiar with it because it was really all I was exposed to. As an adult, I find I've easily fallen into.. well.. I don't want to say stereotypical femme guy status, but pretty much. I never really learned how to be a man, or what that even means. Masculinity is honestly something I know nothing about.After recently moving to a big city and becoming familiar with gay culture and socializing more, I've come to realize that I'm particularly more effeminate that other gay men. For them, it seems to be a part of a whole; they're still enthralled and interested in manly things, clothing, etc. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't feel like being gay is my identity. There's much more to me. But even the other parts don't seem to mesh well with my gay friends interests..I just feel like most men grow up in a particularly masculine household and when they come into the gay community, it allows them to express themselves in a more open way where they can explore more traditionally feminine things without judgement. For me, it's kind of the opposite. I was born into femininity, and I'm becoming more exposed to masculine things as I submerge myself deeper into the community.I don't really know where this is going, but I guess my question is: what is masculinity to you, and how would you embrace and explore that side of yourself? What makes you feel manly?Side note: I'm not trying to say there's anything wrong or right about masculinity and femininity (or that one is better than the other!), but that this is just my experience and I want to delve into something I haven't before.