off my chest TR:DR Bi man stuck in marriage

I am a married 28M with a kid. I am Bi. I have always known I was, and I was ashamed of it (I remember being about 6 or so and at a grocery store and I said something to a little girl of the same age and my then mother doted on about how she knew she didn't raise a gay son, I obviously didn't think about it at the time, but little did I know what that little comment would do to me when I was learning who I am and that statement popping up in my head every time I saw a cute boy.) So, I denied it. I was then homophobic because I hated myself and that lasted for a long time. That is how I have lived a life I now regret. About 7 years ago, I met my now wife. I was 21 and wanted to party and long story short, I didn’t get to party much because the girl I met was pregnant 7 months later. After much internal struggle, and loads of reflection, and the help of a fren who will obviously remain nameless, I finally accepted who I was, and I came out to my wife about 2 years ago. I can’t be who I am meant to be. I feel trapped here in this life. If I’m being honest, I never wanted this relationship at all, but if I am REALLY being honest, I also have never wanted to be alone. I’ve always had a fear of rejection, and I knocked up the first person who didn’t reject the idea of being stuck with me, that I got myself stuck. My wife helped me see that there is nothing wrong with being gay (though she didn’t know she was helping me in that way) she forced me to face the fact that there is NOTHING wrong with being gay. The problem is, now I’m married to her and I can’t be my true self. I’ve tried leaving her before, but my kid, and fear of rejection, and of being alone always pull me back in. I love my child. And I have love for my wife. But I want to go be me. And I know I can’t. I can’t come out to my family, so if I ever left my wife, I would still be living a lie from them, or I tell them, and I lose family that way. I obviously would lose my wife, and I would lose the relationship I have with my child. I know its wrong to want to leave her, and I feel especially shitty because she helped me see that I am ok, and now I want to leave her to be happy. Its all very shitty and very confusing and I know I'm just rambling now but I just needed to get this off my chest.