I am submissive/attracted to older men when I’m horny. Someone explain?:/

Hello everyone. Hope everyone is having a great evening. I just need to get something off my chest and possibly get some reassurance as well.I have always loved girls my whole life. I have a HUGE sex drive (I masturbate 5-10 times a day... I’m not kidding) I try to sext once a day to help relive myself easier rather than just using my imagination (hitting up booty calls) so, yeah. Girls are amazing and I’m pretty much girl crazy.But there’s one thing, when I’m horny, or maybe just a little horny.... I also crave being handled by an older man (30-40) (I’m 21) like, me being completely submissive. A total bottom. And being his little toy/slut. Even fantasizing about dressing up for him and letting him do whatever he wants to me. Maybe I am bi, and I’m getting more accepting of that I guess. But it’s strictly sexual, and I cannot imagine myself ever being attached to a male or giving anal. And only with older men. Just seeing a nice shaved cock makes me go crazy sometimes. Only receiving and strictly sexual. What is this? Am I bi? Is this common? Is this a phase? Not sure. So I would really love some stories about people going through the same thing, or who have went through the same thing.One more thing: I have very VERY bad ocd. So my ocd has now latched on to this sexuality-crisis. And my OCD is telling me “you have always been gay. You’re just realizing it now. You were never attracted to women. You’re always meant to be a sissy boy” and those words really depress me because I don’t want that to be true. I love girls and want to have a gf hopefully soon and stop my man-whore ways. I’ve been pretty depressed because of this, and have been self loathing. Because this is such a dirty kink to me, like not in a good-dirty way. Like I literally feel dirty because i fantasize about being used and being submissive. I don’t want this. I’m sorry about sounding kind of homophobic, I really support the LGBT community and have no issue with same-sex marriage or relationships. I just don’t want this for myself. Like, my attraction to women has gone down because I keep getting intrusive thoughts about these fantasies when I don’t want them. Ahh, fuck. Sorry about this guys