Just looking for an outside perspective...

I'm 25 [M] and somewhat out. I have a younger friend who has been questioning for a while and told me shortly after I came out to him [like a week after]. Nothing is wrong yet.Okay, now for the problem. Starting about two months afterwards, I developed a heavy crush on this person. At first, I thought it was just "oh he's like me [bi] and it's nice to have friends who you can relate to" but it just kept getting worse. I told him, asked if he reciprocated, his response was "maybe." Okay, I guess. That's... not the worst response possible, and maybe things can work. We go out with a mutual friend to grab dinner a few days later, and she coincidentally brings up how she told a friend of hers 'maybe' when she meant no, and his response was along the lines of 'nobody should ever say maybe when they mean no.' Something seemingly minor, but it gave me some hope -- dangerous.We continue hanging out as normal, then one day I follow up and see if anything has changed with the maybe. Nope, still a maybe. We go to a party hosted by a coworker and things heat up a little -- we've both had a couple drinks, first I make some silly joke about spooning ["want a spoon"], then he's sitting on my lap while we play Cards Against Humanity. The night continues, we get kinda touchy while trying to handle a drunk person's worst enemy -- stairs. We're not sloppy drunk, but we're not sober. We get up the stairs and wind up sharing a kiss. We go out to get food [as a group] and there's some innuendo and some mutual agreement, just for another night because I can't host and I don't want to do that at this friend's place. We get back and we're really cuddly. I'm ecstatic. He walks me home and we mention interest in some sexual activity again. The next day he "randomly" asks me to go to dinner... I miss the message because I was taking a nap. Shit. I missed him asking me out for dinner, for some alone time one-on-one. No big deal.Fast forward another month and a half, and I ask where we stand -- it's still "maybe" but now "maybe a little closer to yes." Awesome. Ecstatic again. One more month later, I check and suddenly it's "no for now" and that he felt pressured. I'm crushed. I continue to text him in a friendly, but not overtly flirty way because we're still good friends, we still share a friend group, and we were still going to a New Year's party together in like three days. I had even gotten him a cute gift. The NYE party goes well, and we hung out for most of it, but things were a little different from how they had been in the past.Then I started getting really panicky because the person who had been my best friend over the past 6 months or so, and the person who I talked to about everything, was him. I, naturally, continue talking to my close friend about my problems when they arise, but they're more persistent now and they... kinda directly involve him. I get a little too clingy, and now he only really responds to like half of my texts. He tells me we're still close friends, but he feels distant and I'm fucking destroyed because I feel like the things I've done have ruined what was an amazing friendship and possibly even more than that. Every once in a while it feels like we're super friendly again, even kinda flirty... then the cycle continues.I'm hurt, on top of just being seriously insecure as a result of some childhood shit that created trust issues, and I don't know where to go from here. I'm scared. Obviously I want a romantic partner, but that shit means nothing if I lose my friends in pursuing it. I feel super lonely now, not because I'm single but because my favorite local person to be around has grown distant and it's all my fault.