Being gay and Asian growing up in Europe

leads me to severe depression. I've always known that I'm somehow different being Asian (Japanese) and later also gay, but for some reason, it was fine back then - I totally accepted it. I came out to my family quite early, with 17 and unlike many Asian families, mine was pretty supportive and still loves me for who I am. I thought moving out of my parent's home and going to university would mean a new life and total freedom - I can finally live the independent "gay life" I was so much looking for, just like in the movies.But now, in my mid-twenties (25), I realized that [online] gay dating for Asians is nothing but desperation and frustration and this is killing me. I grew up in Germany where gay guys and their communities are still predominantly white despite increasing immigration. Most guys that show disinterest in me do that politely, some put a 'No Asians' headline in their profile, which is very American to me, others don't answer at all or just block. The funny thing is that I don't even look like a "stereotypical" feminine Asian guy often portrayed in the media - I am 1.74m, fit/good in shape, I have a beard and also the hairiest among my white friends, groomed, round eyes, bright skin and definitely not ugly in my opinion. Sometimes people think that I'm Middle-Eastern or Hispanic and are very surprised by my background. But once guys know that I'm Asian, they seem to lose all interest in me. I know and very much respect that people have their own ethnic preferences but nonetheless, I would never think that I'm going to be that invisible. A bunch of guys that text me are way older who think that Asians don't have any self-esteem. I am aware of the fact that this general dating problem is also experienced by straight Asian guys but again, the 'straight market' is significantly bigger and I do see Asian guys with white chicks sometimes. In the gay community, this issue really borders on racism sometimes. And even I with absolutely no interest in girls at all have like a few quite good-looking, white girls hitting on me once in a while.Anyway, the main reason that gives me depression, which is also getting worse is that I'm afraid I will never really find love or the right boyfriend/partner in life. Without that, everything appears just meaningless to me. I used to be sociable, active in life but now only stay home doing nothing I lost my ambition and aspirations because I don't even know why I should care about that anymore. I do not post this because of self-pity or self loath - but just because this has been an issue for me for some time now and I couldn't share this with anybody, even close friends.Any advice/recommendations on how to improve my situation/mood? Or anything else, feel free to comment.