Sex after hemorrhoids?

I'm in college and over the last 6 months I found out I have a small cluster of internal hemorrhoids through my campus doctor. I use cream twice a day and they since then they have significantly subsided. I notice that if I don't apply cream consistently, even passing a bowel can be uncomfortable. Otherwise, everything feels normal.After my initial flare up with hemorrhoids, everything felt normal after a while, but when I bottomed I had a flare up again and the flare up after sex was the most painful experience of my life. For nearly two weeks I had an enormous pain when passing bowels. My doctor told me not to let the hemorrhoids get in the way of my romantic relationships or let them scare me from having sex. She did say that if I have sex again and the flare-ups cannot be prevented that I should consider surgery to remove them.Basically, I'm scared to bottom again and I haven't bottomed since the last time I had a huge flare-up. I'm reaching out to see if maybe anyone here has had experience with being able to bottom carefully and without inflaming their hemorrhoids. Is this something I have to live with for my entire life?I did buy a silicone based lube that has an ingredient to help numb the anus a bit, but I haven't tried it yet. Also, I am only 21 and in order to consider surgery, I have to tell my parents that I have hemorrhoids and it's really embarrassing. They know I am gay and they don't ask if I am sexually active but they know I get myself tested for STDs and HIV every 6 months, we just never talk about sex.Any advice on what I could do to try bottoming again or general tips?