2017. november 30., csütörtök

Questioning my sexuality?

I think I might be bi but I don’t know. I’m a 16 year old guy and I’ve always felt a little attracted to guys, like for instance when I was in preschool I remember me and my best friend kissed and when I went home and told my family they said that’s not okay and that I can’t be doing stuff like that, so since then I haven’t really done anything like that. When I was about 10-15 I was slightly homophobic around my friends, like we’d make a lot of gay jokes and stuff and I’d take it to the next level a lot of times and make the jokes for offensive. Then one time I remember we saw this statistic that was like 1 out of every 3 guys are gay, we immediately started pointing fingers in our group of who we think would be gay. I quickly defended myself because I thought it was a bad thing. Then a a couple of months later I met this one friend who I’ll call Steve. Steve is an amazing friend and mentor, he was overweight at one point and lost a lot of weight and is continuing to do so, I’m overweight as well and so he was inspiring and he really reminded me of my dad with the motivational stuff he’d say. Anyway he told me later that he was bi. He explained to why he thinks he’s bi, he said that being bi is when you notice a person of your gender to be attractive. He said you don’t have to be attracted to them like wanting to do stuff with them but it means that you notice they’re good looking. And me being friends with him and look up to him opened my mind up, because before I was extremely close minded and now I express my self so much more and am being myself even if people call me names. Like I’ve grown out my hair gotten earrings and done more stuff that are known to be feminine. Then I noticed I do things that I don’t know are signs. For example a lot of guys look at girls’ ass right, and I do too but for some reason I also look at guys ass. Also when i watch porn I can never really watch lesbian porn because i don’t know it just doesn’t turn me on like guy on girl. And I’m thinking that could maybe attribute to that. I don’t know. Also I have really deep feelings for all my guy friends, like I say I love you and stuff like that occasionally. I’ve also since then embraced a lot of the songs that before I would call gay. Like before I met Steve my favorite rapper was logic and he had dropped the album titled Everybody, and I didn’t like it at the time because I thought it was gay like he was too in touch with his feelings on that album. Although now coming back to that album it’s one of my favorites because of how much he stresses the message Peace Love and Positivity for all people regardless of race, religion, color, creed, and sexual orientation. Anyway please give me your thoughts, I know I’m the only one who can really make that decision if I’m bi or not but I’d really appreciate your thoughts. Thank you. :)

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