I think i’m gay but I need some advice.

So i’ve been meeting up with a friend who came out as bi about a year ago. He ended up admitting he liked me for a long time and invited me over. I thought we’d talk but we ended with him giving me a bj. Ever since i’ve gone over plenty of times and i’ve blown him once, something neither of us really enjoyed, and he’s been blowing me. Thing is after I cum I tell him i’ll go clean up in the restroom but in reality after I cum I just feel awkward and weird. Not because hes been my friend but I remember he’s a guy and I’ve only dated girls so doing that with him felt weird. Is there anyway I can learn to maybe look past him being a guy. He want to do anal soon and I NEED to have this figured out by then because he himself knows I can keep going after cumming if I wanted to. Thanks in advance.