It's me again back with more mindlessness blah blah blah he's fucking amazing blah blah I like him a lot

Alright side point: my best friend and a lot of my old friends have been dicks to me about a bunch of shit in the past and with me talking to this new kid I'm dating and seeing his friends... I have realized that the people I've surrounded myself with aren't that cool of people. They're just flat out mean to random people. And I could go on and on with examples, but the stuff they do is just not the way I do things at all. Like when Ellen Degeneres says at the end of here show "be kind to one another" I take that shit to fucking heart and it annoys me to see others go the polar opposite direction of that.Real point: Now I'm opened up to this world with this kid I'm dating and MY BRAIN PROCESSES HIM DIFFERENTLY THAN EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. It's so strange. Like, EMOTIONS whoa WTF where'd you come from. Settle down. I need to focus in class but they're like "FUCK NO WE WILL NOT SETTLE DOWN."But he says nice things to me. And that's incredible. NICE THINGS FROM SOMEONE I CAN CALL FRIEND. That's probably weird to a lot of you, but you don't know who I've associated with in the past.But yeah... back to the part with me and my brain having this internal feud about him. So I consider myself a more analytical person but it feels like the side of my brain that tries to keep things level headed and in context is at war with the part of my brain that's in control of my emotions. And meeting him has seemingly armed my emotions with nuclear fucking weapons because that side of my brain is winning constantly now. I've made more emotionally motivated decisions than ever before. And they've been way more fun. In fact more fun than every moment until now.And I don't understand why, because objectively the things we've done aren't that great. We just get food, do stuff, hangout, and kiss and shit. There's no reason for me to be feeling as though every god damn moment with him is the greatest fucking moment ever. And I've been really scared. EXTREMELY SCARED. That he wouldn't feel the same way. But the more I talk to him the more I realize... maybe he kind of really does feel the same way.Alright: there y'all go. If you read that: cool. If not: still cool, because it's pretty mindless. I just have no one else to tell since my old best friend has some problems with me being gay now...