Any advice?

Yeah im gay..and im out only to 4frnds...today I had a exam in my college.. The invigilator is gay...he acted all girly with full attitude and bitchy...I was already kinda feeling uncomfortable..and when the invigilator left the room for a few seconds one of friends called him "a stupid faggot"...it really hurt me a lot...cos even I will be called by that later...and that really messed me up..and I made stupidest mistakes in my exam and did it very badly...it was such an easy paper but I messed it up so badly...I'm gay but I don't wanna act like that invigilator once I'm out to everyone...and I don't wanna be called a faggot..I hurt a lot...now I hate myself..I hate the fact that I'm gay...and I didn't even chose this...if god is real why does he make us suffer this much?