Seeking advise: am I expecting too much out of my gay relationship?

So a little back story about me before I get to my actual question. I am a 33 yo man who came out about a year ago after being married to a woman for 11 years. My ex wife and I were best friends and still talk daily and we have two daughters together. I always knew in the back of my mind I was gay but suppressed it and "did the right thing" and what was expected of me being from the south, which was get married and have kids. My ex and I had a great relationship but there was always intimacy issues obviously. I never cheated but toward the end of our marriage we did experiment with a third person sexually. This confirmed for both of us that I was gay. Our divorce had its ups and downs but she has been so supportive of my coming out and my biggest cheerleader. I couldn't ask for a better person to have in my corner. Ok so now to the reason for this post. For six months I have been in a relationship with a guy and we live together. I don't feel like I'm getting out of the relationship what was lacking in my marriage. He is five years younger than me and has always been with men. He doesn't have a job nor is he really actively trying to find one, doesn't help with household chores, stays in the bed all day and drinks bc he's an alcoholic but won't admit it and doesn't want to do anything together but go to the bar on the weekend. We rarely have sex and when we do it's very one sided, meaning he always tops and I'm left feeling used and left to get mine on my own. He's told me that he's a versatile bottom but I never get to enjoy the other side of that aspect of gay sex. He's told me that sex is a bonus and he doesn't need it and can do without it. I'm a very affectionate person and make a point to make him feel loved and appreciated but I don't get the same in return. It's very normal for us to sit in silence for hours watching tv and when I try and have casual conversation I get nowhere. I've talked to him about my issues with our relationship and he talks me that gay relationships aren't like straight ones. Guys don't need to talk all the time and be up each other's asses. They don't need attention and affection like women. Am I crazy to want more and have higher expectations in a gay relationship? Am I needy or clingy? Or is he the one with the issues?