I'm not masc enough, but not femme enough.

So I'm 23, gay male. I had my own style and didn't care what anyone thought, until loneliness set in. I bent over backwards to please everyone, and got nothing in return. I'm still permanently alone and everyone says I'm ugly. I have no friends at all either.I know there's a lot of stigma against fem guys in gay dating. The guys who liked fems (usually exclusively) didn't like me because I wasn't fem enough. I had long dyed hair, painted nails, sometimes wore eyeliner. I like women's t-shirts and skinny jeans. Some jewelry. But I still looked like a guy. Most of the fem-lovers basically want a trap... a cross-dresser who wears panties and shaves off all facial and body hair. That's not me though. I have facial and body hair, and I kinda am a mix.Of course, everyone who isn't a fem-lover is a masc-only type. I cut all my hair off, wear only "man" clothes, no make-up anymore... I tried so hard, took all their advice. Move to a new place where nobody knows me. I get nothing. Nobody wants me now either and it pisses me off. Plus, I'm miserable as ever with my appearence.I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel so suicidal that nobody will ever love me or even find me attractive or want to be friends with me.