When a lot of people see me they see a confident aspiring medical student. Whenever I run into old college buddies or people in my hometown they tell me how my job is going to be a “pussy magnet.” Thing is I have been depressed with how my life is going and I really would like to vent to you guys, hopefully you all can help me.
I grew up in an Asian American family, with pretty strict parents. Since I was little my parents always told me not to waste my time on girls, that to work hard, and when I get a job, everything else will come to me. I had a few friends growing up, but my parents rarely let me do things outside of school unless I told them it was for a project.
When I got into college, I had a lot more freedom, and I really wanted to experience love and intimacy. So I pushed myself into having romantic relations with girls. With all of my effort, nothing really happened. Girls found me friendly and nice, but never attractive.
I didn’t blame them; I know attraction is not something we can control. I can’t fault a girl for not liking me anymore than I can fault a gay man for not liking girls. I decided to just bunker down and focus on my studies. I noticed though that in the middle of medical school, girls finally did start seeing me as a romantic prospect. I was thrilled, and happy about how things were going.
However, once I started reading reddit, my perception of my success really has just been destroyed. I realize now that now the women that are dating me now are all likely dating me for the simple reason that I have a good job. I read a lot of the posts on here about Asian and Indian girls exclusively dating White dudes and then marrying a well off Asian guy and I realized how perfectly it sums up my dating life. Both of the girls I have dated, (Asian too) have all told me, I was the first Asian guy they have dated like it’s a huge honor.
I feel so depressed about all of this. When my parents told me that I would get a girl at the end I thought I would end up finding another shy girl like myself. I always thought we would meet, and together our love would grow. Now the way I see things, is I get married to an Asian girl, that spent her entire youth dating guys that looked nothing like me, however now that she is older, and her biological clock is ticking, and her friends are all getting married, begrudgingly marries me. These days, I feel like I am acutely aware to the whole Asian/White relationships. Just looking through my fb, all the women that had White bfs, all now have well off Asian husbands.
There was a girl from college I acutely remember saying that all Asian guys are huge pansies, with small penises, and now she is married to a Chinese guy. I looked at /r/asiansgonewild, almost all the couple posts are White male and Asian woman. I feel like I am crazy. Even after all the hard work I did to get myself here, it’s just pointless. I looked on /r/dirtypenpals, and almost all the Asian women looking for a guy specify they want a White guy. Even on OKCupid, a lot of Asian girls have things saying White guys only.
I know this sounds all ranty, and I hope you guys could follow along. But I really need help. This thing has been eating at me for months now, and I really needed to get this off my chest. If you have any advice/tips for me please share. And before anyone asks, yes I do go to the gym.
tl;dr- Depressed medical student looking for advice
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