To read how truly happy everyone is and how you all support each other 100%, it makes me cry to know I'll never experience this because I will never come out in real life.
I knew I liked girls six years ago but I always hoped it was a phase, yesterday I realized that it's who I am and I can't change it. It makes me sad how I will never experience true happiness and being with someone I love. It sucks hearing your parents & friends say homophobic things about other gay people, and I hate myself for not standing up.
I realize I might have internalized homophobia, and it's horrible to think that I do. It hurts so much knowing I can never be fully myself when I'm around others. So much is wrong in my life and I wished being gay wasn't one of them. I have no one to blame other than myself.
I'm not suicidal or depressed but sometimes I wish I wasn't born. I'm sorry that this is a sad self post but this is the first time I've ever admit that I am a lesbian. Even writing this post felt like something was lifted off my shoulders. Thank you to those who read this, I look up to you guys because you are willing to be open about your sexuality.
I don't know if I should've posted this to /r/offmychest but mods can delete this if its in the wrong place.
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