Nightmare fuel (based on a true gay story) GAY TIFU

This was about a year ago... I worked in construction with my father during the summer as his assistant worker and I would basically goof-off while he looked at blueprints and measured shit, but on this particular day I was extra horny and was checking out the other workers more than usual. I was so horny and I couldn't keep it to myself so I found this finger-sized plastic cone and went into the portable potties and stuck it up my ass. It felt amazing and was probably really anti-hygienic but at the time it was hot. So I kept it inside of me for the rest of the workday until I got home. Before I got in the shower I remembered there was a fucking plastic cone up my ass and I immediately began to feel so much regret. Anyways, I took the cone out slowly and I realized that the tip was covered in blood...Tldr: put a plastic cone up my ass and tore myself a new large intestine.