Sexually confused, need opinions.

So I'm kind of confused about my sexuality and was hoping maybe someone here could help shed light.For pretty much all my life I've lived as a heterosexual in terms of sexual experiences, although I knew from a young age that I was different than my friends. By this I mean I have a fat fetish that's intrigued me since before I realized it was sexual in nature. Basically I think fat bodies look and feel great and I'm turned on by most things related to being fat and this includes fat on my own body as well (I would even say my strongest sexual fantasy involves me imagining myself as being significantly fatter than I am).ANYWAYSSo I spent most of my life assuming I'm hetero because Im very attracted to fat women and have been in a couple short relationships as well. Although over the years I've slowly shifted to looking at fat guys online, because I admired their appearance and I also enjoyed pretending that I was them. However this eventually shifted to me really enjoying gay porn between chubs and now I exclusively masturbate to men.Wait there's more..I decided that I need that I should try and meet someone and try things I real life, I have found someone that I think is attractive and I'm able to get off by imagining myself and him doing stuff if I'm in the submissive role (though I don't like the idea of penetration very much at all). I actually like talking to this guy a lot and he likes me too, but I'm very very nervous that when the time comes I won't be into it. Just having that fear makes me question if I'm actually down or not.I don't know, sorry if you found this weird, also sorry for mistakes I wrote this on my phone.