2016. március 11., péntek

Don't know what to do about this guy I like...

I'm a 17 year old high school senior, and I think I might be in love, and I don't know what to do. I know that sounds cheesy and all, but it's true. I have been having a really hard time dealing with my emotions because this is the first time I've ever felt this way. Before you read the story, keep in mind that I am out as gay to all of my friends but not my family, and this guy, lets call him B, is out as bi to everyone pretty much, but he doesn't flaunt it. Here is the story:When I was in 10th grade, I was in theater with a freshman, and we were just friends. We didn't really talk much until my senior year, but I always had these lingering feelings. November comes and we start talking again on facebook, and we're really hitting it off. I've been an intern in the school for 2 semesters, and he is joining the same internship program the next semester.We keep talking, and then in January I ask him if he wants to see a movie together. We set a time, and we go see the movie. Afterwards, we go and get some food and talk for a few hours, and then I have to run to get to an appointment. Over the next few weeks, we keep talking a lot, and now the internship has started so we have been spending more time together there. We get lunch a few more times on the weekends, each time hanging out for ~3-4 hours, but nothing physical happens.Then our midwinter break comes along. I go away internationally, but we stay in contact for the whole trip. Partway through the trip, one of my best friends, and a mutual friend of B, texts me saying that B had a breakdown when talking to her. My friend says that B started talking about how he never had a crush on someone before, and then how he thinks he might have a crush on me. She tells me all of this, and I am kind of freaking out. While on my trip, I get a few small gifts to bring back for him, and we plan to get lunch 2 days after I come back. We go and get lunch at our usual spot, and I give him the gifts and we have a good time. Still nothing happens.Six days later, I am laying in bed, and I tell myself that I need to tell B how I feel. I text him (which was probably a mistake in the long run) and basically just tell him how I feel. He tells me he knew all along, and likes me too, but not in a romantic way, and that he hopes he wasn't hinting at anything. He says he can't see himself being in a relationship with me, but still wants to stay as good friends as we are. I'm devastated at this point. Yes, this was a much better outcome than it could have been, but still not optimal.The next week in school was a little bit awkward, as was to be expected, but then when I asked if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, he gave some excuse that he was busy. He has now done this a few times.While he said he doesn't like me in a romantic way, I don't really believe him. I know what he said to my friend when I was away on vacation, and other people say they notice that we both make quick glances at each other, even after I told him how I feel.Even though he said we can still be friends, I don't feel like we are as close as we were even a few weeks ago. We got pretty close, walking home together a few days a week, but then it all kind of stopped. I really like being around him and spending time with him, but it can be really hard sometimes. My attraction for him is not based on looks or sex, it's emotional. I really think that I love him, and all I want is to spend time together, in a relationship, but the possibility of that seems to be floating away.I don't know what to do. Can anyone who has been in a similar position offer me any guidance? Sorry for the wall of text, I just kind of wanted to get this out.

Nincsenek megjegyzések:

Megjegyzés küldése