Repressing my sexuality.

I don’t know, it just feels like my life kinda just wants me to stay alone and make me feel weird about myself and my feelings.I mean I get it, I’m young, I’m in high school, at this age everybody’s expected to feel this way. But it just feels unfair in a lot of ways. Straight guys talk openly about girls, girls talk about guys and they do shit too and nobody really judges them until someone gets pregnant. Not that I personally want that, but the place where I’m from, gay is either a joke or an insult. We aren’t taken very seriously, relationships never last and if they do, nobody can see them because we are judged and really only accepted by a few. The prejudice isn’t violent, but it can still ruin you. It’s easy to feel invalid basically. And I’m all for being out, it’s cool that I get to own up to myself. But yeah it gets hard sometimes. There’s so few of us. I kinda just want to give up and give in. Settle for less than everybody else gets. I don’t know maybe it’s just a personal problem :P