Im Such A Mess Right Now

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days back.. And I'm a mess. Confusion, regret, stress, a lot of the bad things. I wish we could have a relationship, but he'll be too mad at me for deleting our dating app, or mad at me for posting a picture without telling him, and I'll be mad at him for making such a fuss over posting a picture of myself on reddit. Either way.. I'm a mess. Just.. Wanted to say that I could welcome any love and support you guys have to spare. I know it's bad to sorely rely on something for anything but tho he may not know, him being there let me pass through the toughest week of my life few weeks ago. My dad was so abusive, if you must know and I have semesters to top it off. It's literally all a mess. I wish he would come back, I really do we can learn and move past our disagreements and differences. I may be naive, hell I'm only 19, but..Why is it so hard to find love? I just want someone to love me and it's so hard. Just so hard.(* just putting it out here for him * If you're still confused we talked on couplete, Pat )