coming out versus being outed?

Hey. I am relatively new to reddit but so far I have found this community to be super helpful and awesome and I am super glad that I found it. So, I have a question. Every since I saw Love, Simon about a month ago, there's been a scene that has been stirring around in my mind. If you haven't already seen the movie or read the book, I don't know how much this is going to give away from the story so heads up. The scene I'm talking about is when Simon is walking out to his car and is intercepted by Martin who is extremely apologetic - to which Simon goes off on him saying "you took this away from me. this was supposed to be MY thing". Y'all know what I'm talking about?Cool, so, after a lot of reflection, I starting thinking about why this resonated with me. I was never really outed in school. In school I didn't hide the fact that I'm gay, but I didn't announce it. It was more like "If you ask then yeah I'm not gonna lie". But then I realized - oh, I was outed at home. I don't know exactly how my mother found out; I was pretty good at double-life-living. But I was in class when I got a text from my sister saying "hey...heads up, Mom texted me this morning saying she knows you're gay". My heart stopped. We never spoke about this in person ever. So just like Simon, I have had this lingering feeling for about a year that "this was taken away from me". I'm pretty certain that, had I not been outed, I still would not have come out yet. My family took it well, they didn't really mind and they made sure I know that I am still loved, but I don't know what to do now. I am obviously out to my family, but from my perspective, I feel as though I didn't get to go through the whole "weight off your shoulders" that I'm supposed to feel after coming out to my family.I still feel the weight of being in the closet even though they know. It's just the fact that I wasn't the one who got to make that decision. The power was taken away from me and this dread has never left me. Has anyone else had similar experiences with being outed? How exactly did you go on afterwards?I appreciate y'all.