Before I even had a chance

Im not sure what the purpose of this post is. I guess I just want someone to know.I’m still in my teens and I live with my devout Mormon family. They know I don’t believe and that I’m gay. It’s very hard for them, and they’re really sad about it. They’re trying to be accepting, and that’s really alI I can ask for anyway. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Now that you’ve got some context, I’ll explain.I’m both romantically and sexually attracted to men, but I have to fight myself every time I see any gay display of affection. It makes me feel sad, and ashamed, and nervous. I can’t let go of all the the feelings the Mormons taught me. Growing up, the church was all I knew. In fact, I thought I was straight for the longest time. I buried my sexuality so so far inside and it twisted me into a knot.I’ve spent the last year untangling, but it’s difficult. Recently I’ve noticed that I can’t watch men kiss each other. It makes me really uncomfortable. I have to constantly remind myself that there’s nothing wrong with it. It makes me really frustrated that I was taught a set of values before I had the chance to choose my own.