With each passing day..

I realize that nothing will save me, that no matter what I accomplish in life I will always feel that emptiness, you know?College degrees,good jobs, money and no happiness. No one close to me would approve of me, im merely seen as a shame to my family. Coming from poverty and being raised by the people you adore who sacrificed everything for me, just to see me successful someday, to graduate, even then just for being this way, im not welcomed in their life. To be thrown out so many times. To be thrown out by those you love.What kind of future do we have? Delving into these things to escape the reality. Sleeping around and drugs didnt give me any clarity.Theres always this 1 moment every night, I swear I hate it, be it when im laughing with some friends, I fade away from my reality, staring into blank space, where the noise becomes silence and that realization hits, to realize I have no future. That no matter what good lies ahead, this feeling of emptiness will not escape. Death will be a blessing at this rate. I feel at the age of 23 , I dont want to see more.How do you cope? I know im not alone.