Living my life how I want in 2018

So this doesn't really pertain to being gay, but I need to get this off my chest and didn't know where else put it. I'm 25 and have been out for 4 years. I've always had a hard time doing things for myself because I worry too much about how other people feel and how people view me. It's caused a lot of hardship in my life. When I was 21 I was severely depressed and tried to kill my self twice, which landed me in a mental hospital for a month. I was living a lie, pretending to be straight, pretending to be interested in my family's religion. After all that, I finally came out and stopped going to church and kind of cut off my old friends who only knew the fake me. I've been struggling recently with depression again and I really feel like the reason is that I'm worrying about other people again. I'll go on dates I don't want to go on because I don't want to hurt them, do things with people I don't want to do.For the new year, my friend and I were supposed to go to another friends house for the weekend and hang out. They live 2 hours away. He ended up not wanting to go. Normally I would have stayed home too since he didn't want to go. I'm so glad I decided to go instead. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. Today, which sparked this thought, I was asked on a date by someone I'm not too interested in. I almost said yes. When I told him no it felt good. It felt like I was in control, when normally I'd just do what they wanted me to do. I'm liking this feeling and I want it to continue. I'm going to keep doing what I want to do and not worry about how it makes others feel. It's my life, not theirs. It's going to be a good year!Thanks for reading and happy new year!