I'm so sick of having to move on

In the last year there have been two men that I had fallen head over heels for, one had to move away, we agreed a different time a different place, it hurt, a lot, but I managed through. Last night I admitted to having strong feelings for this guy, but again I was told that it just wouldn't be possible. I'm a wreak today, I've gone through a quarter oz of weed and a few bottles of liquor. I don't see how I can move foreward again. I don't know if I want to. Maybe I should give up, stop trying. At this poit I could probably drink myself to death, maybe I should.