I'm in love with someone but I wish I weren't

I'm a closeted bi guy and there is a straight guy (we just so happen to best friends) that I've worked with for the past 3 years who is the without a doubt the most beautiful person I know. Like I can't look at him without thinking I love youWhat truly kills me is that 1 he's married but 2 the shit that he and I do towards each other I really can't tell whether or not he's actually straight and because he's married I'm not going to tell him how I feel or try anything.Stuff like a few times he's kissed me on the cheek, saying we love each other literally every day, hugs with ass grabs, and we'll offer each other our hands to hold for a few secondsBut now that I've written this down I'm thinking he's not actually straightI really wish I could either tell him or ask him