I like men but can't expect it

So I've known for a while that I've liked men but I really can't wrap my head around it. (Idk of this makes any sense) but I'm in like denial whenever I have a "gay" thought I tell my self I don't like it... That I'm staright. Like I'm not homophobic I have alot of gay family and friends that I don't have a problem with, I only have a problem with me being Bi. Is there anything I could do to help speed this process so I can love myself again?