There's an important distinction between what one finds attractive vs what one idealizes that will help you thrive in the gay community

I think maturity in the pursuit of relationships stems from making the distinction between recognizing what one finds attractive and what one idealizes.The latter is this idealized form of a personal "Michaelangelo's David" inside one's head and the former is the umbrella of characteristics and interests that appealing to a person about a breadth of people.I also think that because we are gay we frequently judge ourselves how we fall short from our idealized idea of what a guy is and fail to recognize or undervalue what others find attractive about ourselves.A lot of of us may not be top of the statistical list (arguably most) in terms of the characteristics that gay men idealize but it doesn't mean we aren't attractive.I'm sure there's a perfect guy out there who's mostly tall. Has nice muscles (but not too much), who's smart and funny and socially capable. Who's kind and confident.It doesn't mean that there isn't a breadth of attraction in that we enjoy.I might find Michaelangelo's David the ideal man but it doesn't mean that my man has to be Michaelangelo's David. It's remarkable how far from Michaelangelo's David my guy is and I'm genuinely attracted to him and I'm in love with him.TL;DR: Just because you're not someone's favourite/ideal meal doesn't mean that they won't find you a perfectly tasty treat.TL;DR2: Just because something is first on the list doesn't mean that it's the only thing on the list.