Gay in the military.

So I don’t really no what I’m looking for by posting this just getting it off my chest I guess and I guarantee I’m going to ramble sorry in advance. But to start I am currently in the U.S. Navy I was active for four years then left the Navy and after a few years at Verizon and a few other odd jobs realized I missed the navy and wanted back in. I started my year and a half process and long story short here I am again active duty. Now my time in the civilian world I had no problems telling coworkers that I was gay if/when it came up. But in the navy I’ve always had a deep fear of being totally out and I don’t know why that is. When I first joined don’t ask don’t tell was the official instruction but about two years later it changed and I was allowed to serve openly. I had a few shipmates that had no problems letting the whole ship know and that’s fine but for me I let my closest friends know and left it at that. But after being on the ship for a few years people start to notice you don’t have a girlfriend and you never talk about women and eventually after a drunken night at gay club with my straight and gay friends a lot of people found out for sure. But I still never really owned it and was never upfront about it. It was known but not really verified I guess lol. But here I am in my late late late 20s and looking for a long term relationship but at the same time going to a “combat” unit in the navy I’m completely confused on what to do. I want nothing more than to be great in the navy and be in a happy health relationship. But I still hold myself back every day on both fronts I haven’t made friends sense I rejoined because I fear the coming out process and I haven’t looked for a relationship because how can it be healthy when in my professional life I’ve all but jump back in the closet. I’m not really sure what to do at this point I’m tired of trying to hide who I am like I did in high school. But I’m not sure if I’m willing to be rejected by my shipmates if I’m open and honest. Well thanks for listening lol I need that mini counseling session with reddit. Any feedback or advice is always appreciated.Also just to clarify people cannot tell I’m gay just by looking at me or talking to me. In some cases like at Verizon I had to let my coworkers meet my ex before they 100% believed me.Also this is a second account I am openly gay on Reddit lol but family members know my screen name and I don’t really want to have this conversation with them.