Trying to come out

Hi guys,First of all, I’d like to tell you that I’m not English native speaker so sorry for all grammatical mistakes.I’m 18 years old gay. For a long time, I’m trying to tell my parents and friends ‘bout my sexuality. Not ‘cos I want them to tell me ‘everything is alright, we like you anyway’. I want have only this awareness that they know it and I don’t have to hide it. To be free.Some days ago I had an argue with my mom. Or maybe she had an argue with herself... But anyway, she doesn’t speak to me. There’s tense atmosphere in the home. I’m stressed, she wants to cancel my birthday party, I have enough.Now I want to go away for a day or two. Go for a trip to another city instead to school without saying anything. I thought I could leave in the kitchen massage with ‘I am a gay’ and just go. Turn off my phone, have fun and relieve.I know it’s not very responsible but fuck it. All my life I was the politest kid. I was quiet, never done anything like that, always kind to everyone, coming back to home early etc.I need to do something with my life, to push it up. What are you thinking about it?Olivier.