I don't think I'll ever be happy. Has anyone else felt this way?

I am 18. I live in the south. I am very gay. Being gay is one of the only things i like about myself. I'm proud and very happy to be different from normal straights. I am not out to family but am out to friends and classmates. I've never been in a relationship and cannot find anyone with the slightest interest in me anywhere around me. Yes, I've tried grindr. All it led to was my one(and only) hookup with a man. I see others around my area who are gay and in beautiful, happy relationships and i honestly think I'll never have that. I'm not good enough for anyone to look twice at.I've been unhappy for years. I don't really have many friends either. No one cares about me or listens to me. I'm always the last person called to hang out. I do not think i am attractive at all and every picture I take is so ugly i can't even look at it. I'm not fit at all and absolutely hate how my body is shaped. To top it all off my dick is only like 5 inches. Not supposed to be that important, i know. But it gets to me when literally every guy I've talked to on grindr has a bigger Cock than me. No one is looking for me. No one cares about me. I feel so hopeless about my life. It makes sense to think i won't always feel this bad but why? I very well could be miserable my whole life. There has to be unhappiness in the world for others to feel happy. I think i was created solely to be one of the unhappy ones in life. I feel just awful. I never want to get out of bed. I don't think any decent man will ever love me or find me attractive. Its like all gay guys live in a different dimension and i cannot find them. The worst part is I'm only 18. I've got my whole life ahead of me. I just don't want to do it anymore. Has anyone else felt this hopeless?