My life is over and pathetic

I am definitely stupid and crazy, I take money from my dad who is retired and take his credit cards I'm so lonely i hate everything i suck at life i just order another phone the iPhone x which would be my 8th line because the only thing that gets me happy is to get the latest phone now my bill 456 the only good thing Iam good at is my job I'm over weight and I'm tired I just want to be under the covers and I deserve nothing I'm also gay and haven't had a relationship in six years my life is just sinking and I'm smiling to everyone faces like I'm ok but I'm not I am mentally disturb