I can't stop it

Right after work it was like animal inside me I wanted dick losts of it. I went to the same video store got what I wanted and now I feel empty but the animal is gone . I'm fucking crazy all I think about is dick. And what turns me on the most are those wedding rings make me feel what I can't feel anymore. Orgy done but my soul gone a force bigger then me I need help I don't know what to believe whats real and what's not. The world is crazy why can't I just live it like it is. Sex sex sex the dark side of me I have no one to go home too why not just for a few minutes feel the touch of a man who can give me something to stroke all the evil out of me I am gay but nothing will bring me any happiness what am I doing who Ami worse who did I become from shady gay friends to make believe marriages to finding nothing new but the same old same old