Confusing myself

Hey y'all, I'm new here, so if I ain't do this right--> ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I've been confused with my sexuality ever since I learned what the word gay meant. I started to realize that there were so many cute boys in my middle school, to the point where I asked one out (he ended up taking it as a joke and nothing happened from there.) The problem after this was being too overzealous. Every time some boy said I love you or made some kissy faces to me, I would take it as a sign of attraction and a potential date. Nevertheless, I learned that straight bois like to act gay, so I dismissed everything and life went on. Going into sophomore year in high school, I started to confuse myself. On one hand, I felt this urge toward boys in the school; it was just something about them that made me feel ughhh plz be with me. Meanwhile, girls were also getting hotter, but I didn't have that feeling that I wanted to have them for my own or whatnot. I've always been god awful at analyzing subjective answers, so I searched up different gay tests, and they all came up to be ~bisexual-gay. From this point on, I felt like I needed experience to truly discover what the hell was happening, but alas, awkward me couldn't get a nerve to ask anyone out or whatnot, so it was dismissed again. Fast forward to now, me as a senior in high school(stalling college apps zzz..), and I'm still odd balling around my sexuality. On one hand, on National Coming Out day, there were some people asking me if I would come out. I can't tell if they're joking. Another time, on the Marching Band bus, our group was discussing how gay we were 1-10, and they all started discussing how gay I acted and me staring at this guy's junk instead of all the girls changing around me. It always bewilders me how I can never tell if people are joking around or serious. What really gets me is that I've developed this crush on this really hot guy in our grade, and every time I'm around him, I get jitters and freeze. Yet, there's still part of me who stares at girls in our schools. - I've concluded to myself, just today, that I'm sexually attracted to boys, and girls to some extent, but I'm very emotionally attracted to guys, especially Daddies- whoever it is that can cuddle me tight and take care of me as a little sub. I shared this to ask anonymously, because I'm not comfortable with this stuff irl, if anyone has any advice for me and my wavering sexuality? Is it risky to claim to myself that I'm gay, then decide later that it may not be? And maybe how to deal with crushes of unknown sexuality? Thanks for any advice and sorry for the long post...