Am I perverted because I fanaticize about being raped?

I often have fantasies about being raped, most times by multiple guys. The thought of this gets me extremely aroused. I do know rape is not a joking matter and it’s a violent, disgusting thing that is never enjoyable. I’m not here to offend anyone who has been raped and I’m certainly not condoning rape. Just want that to be known. But everytime I see a TV show on rape like Law and Order SVU or anything like that, I can’t help but fantasize about it. I often imagine a group of hot, straight guys pinning me down and taking turns raping me. I go as far as to imagine them tying me up, even beating me up. Being inside of me 2 guys at once. The whole 9 yards. I am gay so I’m not some twisted straight guy but I know these thoughts aren’t normal at all. I’ve even gone as far as having “rape role play” sex with my ex boyfriend. And also filming a fake date rape video with the same ex and another guy where I pretend to be passed out and they drag me in and seem to rape a limp body. I watched this video 1,000 times and it gets me extremely aroused every time. Is this a normal thought for people to have or am I just a completely perverted, f’d up person? I know I have some issues lol but I’m just wondering if I’m the only person who has thoughts like this..... thank you and please don’t judge. At least I can admit that I’m a weird person haha. I’m just wondering how weird I am compared to most people. :/