Romance vs Sexuality

I'm a male. I'm confused about which gender i want to truly pursue in a relationship. I feel that women provide better for me as a man, I'm comfortable around women, I like them as characters but I'm not sexually attracted to them at all. It takes a lot of effort on my part to build an emotional connection with them, too. I like men sexually. I build emotional connections with men at a faster rate. My straight friends all talk about them being nervous around girls, but I never feel that. I get nervous around guys. My gay friends get nervous near guys, but are okay with girls.I mean, I'm not trying to compare to others experiences, I'm just feeling my own out. But I've been trying to date men for 2 years and have been consistently let down. And I've consistently let women down for not pursuing them....I'm sorry to them. I just couldn't build a connection beyond wanting a friendship.I used to identify as heteromantic but homosexual, but that's shit. Why would I be cursed with some whack shit like that? Having to choose between my emotions and sex? Who fucked me up as a kid lmao