How do I look positively on my life?

Yes, it's one of these typical "My life sucks" posts. Also I had no idea where to post this, but I thought this place is the best cause I often like the answers here, and the story kinda has to do something with this subreddit.Anyways, I'm a 19 years old guy, who's on his last year in technical college. This year was going really good for me, I felt good almost every day with a few examples, I actually thought "Wow, I like my life." but ever since last week, I've actually thought differently.Last week I started thinking carefully about my life and how's it going now, and I actually understood how bad it is going for me. I met a guy I was really interested in to have a chat, but when we met he said "I don't know why you bother meeting me, I have no interest in you but if you want to meet me to hear me talk shit about you, then so be it". I didn't even meet him to start something with him, I just wanted to talk to him cause unlike all of my friends, he thinks differently (More mature), and I just needed to hear something that isn't just random bullshit and silly jokes. Something serious for once.I tried using dating apps to finally find myself a partner so I could know how it feels being in a relationship, to know that someone actually likes you for what I am, but no luck in that, and it's messing up my self-esteem. I've been single for my whole life. Sure, 19 is still a young number, but people my age at least had one "Not-so-serious" relationship, but I haven't even had something like that.I have to do a qualification work on my profession (I'm a programmer, so I decided to make a 2D turn based RPG), but I have no will to do it right now, and I've only 3 months left to finish it, but it's like 10% done now...I've tried to ask my "friends" to hang out, but almost all of them say they are busy, or don't want to hang out. Or if they want to, then they cancel it in the last minutes.I'm writing this now after I've finished crying (Which was for like an hour, my eyes hurt and I feel sleepy, also head hurts). Honestly, crying feels nice. I actually like the feel. I don't remember the last time I cried.I think that my anti-depressants was the reason why I didn't feel like this before. I took them almost every day and felt good, but now I haven't taken them for like two weeks, and now I struggle to see the good.I am really, really sorry if a sad, stupid, "sissy-ish" post appeared here, but I really do not know where else I can let me thoughts out.Please share your thoughts about my story, even if it's mean.