How do I hook up with dudes discreetly!?

Ok, not quite sure how to ask this... but I really enjoy giving head and jerking off guys. I have no other attraction to men in the least. I appear 100% hetero, im married, I'm 27. But every once in a while, I get a huge urge to just suck some dick. So sorry if anything I say here isn't allowed or is offensive.Every time I've done it has been at a bathhouse, except for once a guy from online. Probably about 8 guys in total.Here's my problem, as a totally, 100% closeted person, who would never in a million years want to be 'gay' openly, how do I find dick properly?Bathhouse grosses me out, 99% of the people there are old, mostly Asian (nothing against Asians, I'm really attracted to Asian women, but not so much the men). And def not into old guys. And online, I always am scared I'll be robbed, my apartment destroyed if I host, outted, killed, etc. I don't really want them in my house, but I always drink before I suck dick and I live in the burbs and don't want to drive drunk, and am scared I'll get to their house and be kidnapped and raped and killed, or secretly filmed and blackmailed.Plus I'm super wary of sharing pics online. What if they happen to be someone I know? Also, when they send dick pics I get super turned on, but a face pic just turns me right off. I feel like a glory hole would be best for me, but where the fuck do I find one of those? I've tried Craigslist (where I sucked my one and only dick from online - I was already drunk plus he brought some blow) but like people get killed off of Craigslist ads. I've posted on random acts of blowjob, talked to guys on kik or email, etc.And randomly meeting a gay guy at work or Starbucks or something... I have like a natural thing where if I haven't built myself up to it I act even more masc and 'non-gay' in front of them, I just can't help it.I am 99% into chicks, especially my wife, but like maybe twice a year I just want to suck some cock. I've probably blown like 8 guys in the last few years. I'm pretty good looking, did great with women in my life.What is the best way to find someone to blow??I'm in Toronto btw.Please help me suck some cock!!