Serious suicidal thoughts

Decided to move to the states for college once I finished high school, so I could escape not being myself even when I am home with my family, bullies, nit fitting anywhere, getting in jail just of being gay, lying about my identity all the time, and serious suicidal thoughts. So, I moved hoping a better for a better life. I came to the states and became so confident about myself and accepting myself made tones of friends that have similar interests and literally I found myself here by being the way I want to be. Spent the most valuable five years of my life and never thought of going “home” even once and totally forgot the pain that I used to feel every fucking single day. Now, I have graduated from college and it’s time to go back home because of immigrations rules, I have fought enough to stay here but my application for immigration was rejected. I have three months to go back home and this is the hardest and challenging thing I just can’t back home and if I do I will consider committing suicide for real why not just ending my life if I am going to live in fucking pain every day I JUST CAN’T and I am really considering it because this is just killing me already