2017. március 3., péntek

Scared shitless

Hello, /r/GayPersonal story ahead, but I wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks in advance for reading my rant :). I am currently 22 years old and I've been out since I was 21 years old, so that would be roughly 1.5 years by now. The past period has been pretty taxing emotionally really, because I've - finally - come to terms with me being gay after 10 years of denying the fact that I am gay and trying to run away from any emotions relating to that. Obviously, and thankfully, that didn’t work out and here I am; an outed gay man! Due to my late coming-out, I never been in a real relationship and that really was a blow to my self-esteem, especially when you see your peers be happy in committed relationships.Any how, fast forward to now, I’ve met this incredibly, insanely cute and gorgeous Brazilian guy on Tinder. He is studying here and planning on moving here permanently. So far, we’ve been on one date and it was an insane night. I spend the night there, sleeping in his arms, realising I never felt that happy or safe before and it made me feel incredibly good. The feelings are mutual and I will spend the weekend at his place.And this is where I get scared. He is older than I am, and way more experienced in the relationship department, compare that to me, and I have absolutely no idea what the fuck I am doing. I never had gay sex before and it scares me a bit to be honestly. I never had a boyfriend before, and we both feel that we are going really fast to be exclusive for each other and that scares me a bit too. I want it. Both. But it scares me.I think I am looking for people who had similar experiences or who could tell about their first boyfriend to ease my mind a bit.Thanks for reading!

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