Questions about Spacey and Rapp

I'm a woman, so my knowledge about gay men is second hand at best. I feel the mass attack on Spacey is somewhat off base and hypocritical, but I'm not sure about this. I have a few questions I hope can lead to sincere, nonhysterical answers.1) Is it not common among gay men to have their first sexual experience as a teen with an older man?2) If true, would it not have been even more common in the 80's?3) From watching 'Queer as Folk' I learned that gay male sexuality can be very forward and aggressive compared to hetero norms. Is this true? If true, is grabbing someone and lying on them a lot less shocking than it would be if this was a woman?4) Rapp says he was a very young 14 year old, and pictures from that era confirm that. This is the one thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about the revelation. However, I found an interview with Rapp in which he says:"MW: When did you come out?RAPP: When I was 14, I had a one-night encounter with a slightly older kid from high school. My mom found out about it. She confronted me. It wasn’t a coming-out — I was like, “This is something I’ve wanted to do.”http://ift.tt/2gSuC5m is the same age as the Spacey 'event'. So he wasn't a child, he was a teenager. Not that it makes this OK, but teen is different from child.Thanks!