Frustrated

All I’m going to do is say what’s happening. I don’t really need advice or anything, I just want to vent.So I’m a 15 year old gay kid from Minnesota. I grew up in a big city where everyone was super accepting of gay people, including the vast majority of people around me. I didn’t really think about boys or girls or any sort of relationship stuff until I was in 7th grade. That’s when I realized I didn’t really have feelings for girls. Anyway, I never really struggled with my sexuality, I kind of just accepted it because it was just a normal thing where I grew up (I’m very thankful for growing up in such an accepting place). I didn’t have a hard time coming out to anyone, of course I got nervous, like any gay person who is coming out, but really it wasn’t that terrible. Everyone I told was perfectly fine with it. Now, we’re a very Christian family (who believe God had no problem with Gay people). So, the problem is that we decided to move to Honduras as Christian missionaries right as I was coming out to people. We live on a compound with a bunch of other missionaries. The thing is that the people here are not tolerant of gay people. One of the doctors is prepared to lose their medical license in the US because they won’t serve trans people (honestly, I don’t get how he’s hurting anyone but himself). It’s not really an option to come out here, and we’re going to be here for 2 years, which to me is a long time. I am completely comfortable with myself and was ready to be out, but right as that was about to happen we moved here. It’s just annoying to have to keep that hushed right as I’m ready to be out. To make it worse there are a bunch of other boys my age here, and I have a crush on one of them. Technically, I suppose he could be gay, we’ve never talked about that stuff, but the likelihood is small, and even if he was, he would not be comfortable telling anyone in this environment. I just want the crush to pass, but it’s a small compound and there aren’t a ton of things I can do to distract myself. I see him pretty much every day and it’s hard to avoid him. Also, this is my first real, recognizable crush. I’m just frustrated and wish I could be out, but I’m kinda stuck here for 2 years.I know there isn’t much I can do, I guess I’ll just have to wait. Well, that’s it, thanks for reading.