I'm in love with my best friend. Do you think she feels a similar way?

This will take time to read, but I seriously need some guidance.There's no other way to put it. I'm in love with my best friend. We are both females, both 19 years old. We've been best friends since we were about 14. I've liked her for almost this entire time. As far as I know, she's straight. And as far as she and everyone else knows, I'm also straight. I haven't come out, she's the only girl I've ever had these feelings for. I'm also attracted to men and I'm trying to date so I can lose feelings for her.Firstly I'll tell a bit about myself and her. I'm more masculine, but in no way do I identify as a male or a butch. I usually just wear a men's tshirt and hoodie, and a pair of sweat pants. This is just because I'm comfortable in this. I'm kind of shy, so I don't get touchy around any other friends. She is VERY beautiful, she's also had a kind of rough upbringing. She was kicked out of home at 16, where she moved in with my family and I which we live over 2000 kilometres away (I used to live down her way, we went to school together until I moved when I was around 16, she moved a year later). She recently moved back after living with me for two years after sorting things with her family. This was one year ago. She's very feminine, but she can also be a little sloppy and I like that!I'm just going to list some things below that she does or has done in the past.• She's very touchy, but I think she tries to do it discreetly, much like I do to her. For example she will grab me around the neck (jokingly haha) with her arms and kind of wrestle with me, and she full on wrestles too and she's setup her phone on record once (with my knowledge) and filmed us wrestling.. I would do that to capture some special moment or something, but that's just me. Anyone else? She always sleeps on my shoulder during long car rides and stuff, I don't think she does that with other friends. One time in particular recently, she rested her head on my lap when we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and asked me to play with her hair. I loved it, but it got me thinking. She also gets me to draw on her back.• She keeps my clothes. As I said, I usually dress in male clothes so I have a fair amount of comfy shirts and hoodies. She used to LOVE asking me if she could keep some. Even if I loved the item of clothing, I'd let her keep them. I liked her to have them. She would upload photos of herself in them, one photo in particular she was wearing my shirt she got a while before and the caption to the photo read "Haha aw, I still have it :)". I got to excited so I just started to look for other things in the photo that she could've been referring to, but honestly it was just a photo of her and I couldn't notice anything else.• This one is odd. So basically one time we were laying on a fold out bed together, we were just talking to my younger brother in a spare room. We weren't sleeping in the bed, just laying on it. We were kind of in the spooning position, but about two feet apart, so we weren't touching or anything. I think I was just annoying her and flicking her ear or something just messing around like a friend, something like that. Then we both just got up about 5 minutes later and left to each others bedroom. (We lived together at this point). Then within 20 minutes, someone had messaged me (without her knowing) some screenshots of some texts between this person (we'll call him Jake) and herself. She was telling Jake how we were just laying on the bed and that I was putting my hand on her hip and so she asked what do I want, and I apparently signified to go to the bedroom. I was so confused because none of that happened... why would she bring it up? I don't get it. She doesn't know till this day that Jake sent that to me, I was a little embarrassed so I just kept quiet. Also another time about a year later, she must've said something else to him again, and he asked me about it once again. She came up with this out of nowhere. Apparently she mentioned something about lesbians to me, and I 'went real funny and quiet'. I don't recall her ever mentioning anything... I know I would've got funny about it and remembered it because of my feelings. But it didn't happen... I don't know why she's making up these things.• This one was a while ago, but once we were sitting by the computer at my place just doing stupid stuff, and she decided to prop her phone up and just video ourselves talking and saying funny things. Towards the end of the few minute long video, she grabbed my face and gave me the biggest kiss on the cheek, almost like it was a big urge. I loved it but I just acted like it was normal and ignored it.• She lived an hour away from me at one point, we were about 15. She used to come and stay at my place every few weekends, she would get the bus for an hour to get to me. I'd usually really want her to stay longer so I'd be cheeky and convince her to stay for another night. She would tell me she has work the next day (part time job). But then she would ring up and say she can't make it, almost every second or third weekend. There's only one person I'd do this sort of thing for, and that's someone I'm desperate to spend time with.• About a year ago, she had just come back home from visiting her family at the other side of the country. I decided to sleep with her in her room that night (we used to sleep in each other's rooms sometimes) because I was happy she was back and wanted to hang out. I also had another friend visiting me that week who is also kind of friends with her, so we all decided to bunk into her bed together. I was on one side, my friend was on the other, and she was in the middle. Was very uncomfortable to say the least, lol. I was pretty tired so I decided I might go to sleep, so I put my phone and shut my eyes. They were having conversations, and it kinda prevented me from going to sleep. As weird as it sounds I just fake slept because I was trying to sleep anyway, hahaha. Then I decided I'm gonna cuddle up to her and see what she does (she would've assumed I was doing it in my sleep, so it didn't bother me). I didn't want to do too much, just subtle things. I wrapped my arms around her arm, put my head on her arm or shoulder, put my head all the way up near her neck. It sounds weird, I know, but I just wanted to see her reaction! She would move after a few minutes so I had to move too. She must've just got bored of the position lol. Then I seen flash through my eyelids haha, assuming she'd taken a photo of me. Just assumed she was gonna send me a snapchat of myself with a face filter or something. Then, they talked for a hour or two and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning and the my other friend was looking at her snapchats and she opened the photo of me, and it was captioned 'cute'. I didn't get the snapchat, so she mustn't have wanted me to see it.• Once I decided to go hang out with her in her room. At this time she only had a single bed because she had just moved in, so it was a bit squishy. We were just being funny and taking stupid photos of each other, but I had just laid on the edge of her bed because there was nowhere else. Somehow I slithered my way up onto the bed more and I was literally laying between her legs, but I didn't even realise at first. We were just laying messing around though, it wasn't anything sexual. I kind of was comfortable and of course I liked it, and she seemed to like it too. We weren't doing anything, I was just sitting there. But she didn't seem to mind, it would've been very uncomfortable but she didn't ask me to move or anything.• She sometimes mentions that she dislikes lesbians. But, I do that too. I know it seems like such a terrible thing to say, but I only do it to hide the fact that I have feelings for her. I wonder if she says it for the same reason.• I don't know if this is a lesbian thing, but she did watch all seasons of Orange is the New Black... just a thought ;). She also done a school assessment about gay marriage rights.• Back in the tumblr days, I was just going through some of my friend's blogs and stuff. I decided to have a look at hers, and I was just looking at her likes (which I remember once she was telling me how she thought they were private) and there was a hour something long lesbian porn video in there... I never mentioned it to her.Also, I'm getting a psychic reading from a VERY reputable psychic/medium in a few days. I'm a big believer in these things. I'm pretty much getting the reading for career advice and to connect with my grandmother. I was thinking, should I ask/hint about this subject to the psychic to try get answers? Do you think it could help me?So, let me know what you think. Do you think she feels the same way or a similar way? Let me know why or why not.That's all I can think of for now, if I can remember anything else I'll edit my post. Thanks for taking the time to read!!