Need advice: Real messy love life

Hi y'all.Hope all is well.(Posting as succinct summation of my situation as I can.)I'm currently finishing up my first-year of college -- and, my God, has it been a ride. I posted here at the beginning of my first semester on another throwaway account: I had a huge crush on my gay roommate and didn't know what to do. It turns out he liked me back, too -- at one point, but before I was able to muster up the courage to say something to him (the additional pressure of him being my roommate wasn't any help either) he began to date someone else. In this period of time he invited me into a polyamorous relationship with his (now) ex; the only problem? -- His ex only wanted the relationship to be monogamous. I (platonically) slept with him and would cuddle with him anyway. Fast-forward to the end of the semester; he nearly dies of alcohol poisoning and in the morning we talked about how much we loved each other. Unfortunately, communication between us was terrible, neither of us were really honest with our feelings, and I ended up moving out because I couldn't deal with the frustration that derived from the lack of communication. We still talked after this. We'd run into each other and have twenty-minute conversations, occasionally hang out till three in the morning, etc. I've had beef with his friends for a while, I eventually told them off, and we later had a conversation about us in which he said he didn't feel the same way about me (I texted him when I was inebriated that I loved him) and we should "hang out less, but it's okay if we still 'ate and stuff.'" This conversation came from a vacant place -- he gave me gifts and did my laundry two days before; it lasted two hours and we talked about each other and our lives. I know his friends influenced everything he said in the conversation. Eventually, I got sick of us having these spontaneous conversations that would last a half-hour and him asking people how I was doing without wanting to actually be with me and told him to not say hi to me or anything anymore. I'll admit: I wasn't too amiable about it. Till this day -- especially over the past few weeks -- he still looks at me when he sees me and thinks I'm not looking. I miss him so much. I'll admit to pushing him away -- even though he's done the same -- and doing other things that ultimately led us to parting ways. Both of us are guilty of something. I have no idea what to do. I still like him and I don't want him to think i have any resentment, especially in regards to my drama with some of his friends. I feel so remorseful for catching him and his friends up in a self-destructive whirlwind. It was selfish of me, and neither him nor his friends deserve that from anyone -- even is some of those folk quite literally targeted my friends. What should I do? Should I contact him, and if so, how? -- We haven't spoken in two months.