2017. május 9., kedd
Met a new guy...
...and he's amazing. He's looking for something substantial and serious, just like me, and despite our mutual hesitation to get too excited too early, we have such an amazing chemistry and communication that after just two dates it feels like this might be it.The first time we met we went for a stroll, and we got so carried away we walked 15.000 steps. :PToday was the second time, he came over at my place and we made out for hours. He's the sweetest guy I could possibly find, and I can see it in his eyes that beyond the initial hesitation, he's really serious about this if it's really as good as it seems, and so am I.But I've got two questions and I'd love any advice:If we do end up in a relationship, which seems likely, how do I keep the "spark" alive? I proved to myself that my feelings don't fade with the initial enthusiasm in my previous 2-year-long relationship. However, despite my own feelings persisting, the spark was still dampened leading to a bitter breakup from my ex's side.What I'm feeling right now is indescribable, and it terrifies me that sooner or later we might get used to each other and not feel our souls smile to one another anymore.As someone who's often insecure about his looks, it's hard to cope with what's happening. The dude looks like some god of the sun and I... well, I don't, or at least I don't feel like I do. He does like me just as much as I like him, I can see it in his eyes, but when I see us next to each other in the mirror I feel... insufficient. That is from a purely superficial standpoint, personality-wise I'm very happy with myself. Still, I want to feel attractive, and he makes me feel that way, but then I unwittingly compare myself to him and I feel like he's so far out of my league. Nobody has told me I'm ugly or anything, thankfully, but still it troubles me.I need to get over this in a way that doesn't feel like I'm just compromising with myself. :PAll input is appreciated :D
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