I think I came out too early...

So I'm 19 now and I've been out as gay for maybe 5 years, but there's a lot of times where I feel super uncomfortable with certain people knowing. This is a little vague but it's kinda like that in my head for me, like I'm really uncomfortable with my mum and my brother knowing that I'm gay and it really doesn't help that the general public here in Australia are kinda insensitive when it comes to blatant homophobia. Also I sometimes feel like I need to be more "masculine" or whatever and it's worrying because I can't un-come out to cope with these insecurities slowly.I feel like I came out before I was actually ready. I came out to a few friends when I was around 14 because I always thought that it was better to get it over and done with sooner rather than later and by the time I was 15 I was out to my close group of friends. Then, on my 16th birthday, I got really drunk and announced to all my friends that I was gay and it kinda just spread around.I don't think I gave myself enough time to figure out how I felt about myself before I started seeking validation from others. I kinda wish I could go back because I think I went too fast and now I'm kinda stuck out the front here, unprepared, y'know what I mean? Like I really wasn't ready for everyone to know and that has kinda stuck with me since then and that feeling of "I wish they didn't know" just didn't go away. It's like I'm perpetually stuck feeling like someone outed me so suddenly, but like I'm the one who outed me. If that makes any sense. Idk I just wish I had taken it slower but now I can't go back because like I'm supposed to have accepted myself fully because I'm already out or whatever.