Gay, straight, or should I wait?

Note: This is a pretty long rant because I am a teenager and you know how many emotions they may have (unless you are even younger), but it is labeled into sections, so read what you want.Personal Background: I live in the U.S., and I am a gay freshman in high school, but no one (none of my friends or family) know it, though some may suspect... I am having my second crush for pretty much the whole school year. My first was a hot, popular athlete, and I was able to kill it in a few weeks because he is obviously straight and I haven't talked directly with him, so there is no need for unnecessary attachment (he is still nice eye candy though). I will refer to my current crush as M. I am not sure when I plan on coming out, if I do.Family: My parents are partially homophobic, but I am reassured they will always love me. My family is pretty connected to church, but I do recall once watching a Chinese drama with my mom in which a girl pretended to be lesbian so she could keep her job as a babysitter for this lawyer guy. The lawyer had a client he was defending who got kicked out of school because he was gay (or something along those lines), and was scared of his parents finding out. My mom told me and my sister that if we were gay she would still love us and asked if we were. I said no (sorry, if I come out, it will be when I want to). At the very least my parents won't condemn me, try to put me through degrading therapy, or force me out of the house and cut financial support. This is better than some people, so I feel pretty lucky. There has always been a joke in my family that my sister (senior) and I swapped genes. She has a pretty masculine personality, has almost all guy friends, thinks girls are a bit boring, and plans to study mechanical engineering. She is pretty bad at understanding people's emotions. I am mostly the opposite. However, she is straight, as she finds guys attractive (though rarely talks about it). I guess the main reason why I am not out yet is because I feel I will disappoint my parents. My mom always tries to teach me stuff about getting a good wife (you have to be more interesting and aggressive), and though there is a high chance they will accept me, definitely keep me as their son, I am not sure if they will go through criticism from extended family members. I love them very much. They are always great parents and I don't want them to have to suffer for me. I am not sure what path to take, marry a girl, have my own children (which I want) and have regrets, or live how I want and regret the rocky relations with family and withstand criticism.My crush: M is the cutest person ever! He is also quite hot. He is a sophomore, so the only class I have with him is orchestra. We are both in the top orchestra at my school. I am the pianist, and he is a violinist. When I saw him the first day of school I couldn't stop staring (still can't), but the best part is that I am at the back part of the room, and he is the next person in front of me after a few empty chairs. This means no one notices my stares and I look freely (still, not too often), it doesn't help that he dresses nicely. He has a nice smile and laugh frequently, but is mostly quiet except to his best friend. He has a very cute voice, is pretty skinny, is a bit shorter than me (and I am not that tall), and his parents are also pretty short. I happen to find twinks very attractive (Jack Frost is very good looking). He is really smart, smarter than me by some, as he is learning multiple languages, takes good classes (okay, that's literally every Asian in orchestra including me), and is very good at computer programming.Why I think (let's be real, it's just hope) he is gay: Okay, so I am not all that close with him (a lot of my friends are girls), but I have had three instances where it was mostly just me and him, each of which (in my mind) I treat like dates. The first two are at Science Olympiad events (cause we're nerds). Our team choses people to compete, and there are more people on the team than people allowed per event, so they cycle out. I moved over the summer so I didn't know people at the time, and M surprisingly conversations with me. We talked quite a lot, and he is really nice. This happened a second time, and after that we were mixed into different rotations (and I was quite disappointed). I wasn't until I met him on a night at church that I grew hopeful. Someone had invited him (but never talked to him for some reason), and his parent's basically forced him to go (he typically goes to a different church). I saw him after practicing piano for the worship team (if only I was singing this time) and greeted him. One of the first things he asked was why everyone was wearing sports pants (remember, he always dresses quite nicely). I typically don't wear sports pants either, and wan't at the time. Now, obviously, dressing nicely doesn't equal gay, as some straights care a lot about their looks, and plus his family is pretty wealthy (though his parents, according to my mom, dress very casually). One of my best female friends, let's call her F, attends regularly and is friends with M. I typically sit next to her and everything but she arrived late, and M doesn't know anyone so I sit next to him (okay, maybe it was more than just those reasons). Everything is fine, right? When I see her, I say, "Look F, M is here!" She waves hi to me and completely ignored M. As the evening for on I found out, F had a crush on M, told M pretty recently, and could not handle the rejection. F is apparently quite attractive (my mom agrees on this points and asks me quite often what I think about her) and many guys have had crushes on her. There was quite some drama. F avoided M at every opportunity and one of her friends was a mediator and went back and forth. "Look M, F is crying. Her heart is broken, it hurts." M turns to see F, cheerfully chatting with a friend. "Um, she's laughing..." F's friend asks if M has ever liked anyone before and if he knows how it feels. M replies no, he just has friends (much to my delight). At this point, I am thinking. There are three possible reasons: 1. He doesn't like anyone. He is almost 16, but some people don't get their first crush until a bit later. There is also a possibility that he is asexual, though it is pretty rare. 2. He likes another girl, but doesn't want to hurt F more, or have his girl affected. Or 3. (My personal favorite) He likes someone that isn't what is socially acceptable. F's friend decides to say: "I think it's because you two are gay." I turn my head away, and think happily (They are talking to each and don't notice, hopefully...) but I forget his response. Later another one of F's friends walk over and they have some playful arguing and one sits on the other. M says "So it's not okay for guys to sit on each other's laps?" F's friend says "You can if you want to, I won't judge." The rest of the afternoon was fun, playing the games they had planned (the interactive types with loud people) that both of us tried to not get too involved with. I couldn't stop laughing (We both laugh quite often normally anyways, so it's nothing abnormal), and it went from an afternoon I had not planned on attending, to a nice "date" I would have regretted had I not went. The irony, a gay date in church! Chances are, I will not see him again in church any longer, but there are still two full years before he graduates.What should I do?: I have pondered the ramifications of me telling him I like him. He doesn't appear to be the type who will be very shocked, tell everyone, and out you from the closet. However, it is still a possibility to consider with caution. Best scenario: He also has a crush on me, we can have a secret relationship. More realistically, he is straight and will become more distant (I don't talk to him in school much anyways). I have pondered the reality almost daily for some time and think I may be fine with it, but if I look deeper, I know I am not. I have to relational experience and don't fully know how I will cope with rejection. As for the extreme possibility of being outed, that is a situation I don't think would go too well, like at all. I was thinking, should I wait until the day before his graduation, tell him, and be prepared to cope with the regret that if my optimal situation were the case that I would pretty much never see him again, lie low and never find he answer, or tell him soon.Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks for reading this messy rant!