dealing with loneliness on your 22

my life never was easy my parents were Islamic and i gay i already got bullied alot on school for it and after i did my official coming out things got only worst i end up in oprhan house were things happend things like people showing up to my room really late those people got fired but it was kinda late they have made damage already and i wasn't the only victim beside having all these weird problems nobody liked me in the oprhan house just because of the fact that i was gay and dumb enough to come out for them and get myself intro this situation and already didn't have any friend after i found out about the internet i dated with man who were twice my age and they did horrible things to me after all the moments they manipulated me humiliated me im not the same person anymore i use to love people i use to respect people i use to have a heart but thinks aren't the same anymore and i miss all the old things i miss having a partner and not someone who would stab my back like my parenters and familiy did i wish there was little bit of peace intro my life i wish could just live my life without worrying if the person front of me is going to play me out for just a one night stand i have been so much i wish the end was near im so much caught in all the things i been thru it doesn't feels right everything when im with someone i can't barely trust them or feel comfortable im constanly being criticized for the way i think or that i have my issues in life or that people can't relate to the stuff i really want to be honest friend and if that makes me boring or weird i don't care i was always like this but the loneliness is killing me and it isn't feeling right anymore