just gonna put random truths up... not in any specific order or for any real reason...
i was beat until i was 5......then around 8-13 learned about discipline. and that the people who abused me just didnt know how to be calm and teach a lesson.
i robbed more than 30 cars on more than one occasion somewhere around where i used to live. throwing id's wallets purses backpacks into the sewer was regular routine after we;d taken what we wanted.
i punched this guy in the face until he was crying because he hit a lady friend of mine.
when i have sex with someone i actively try to steal some of their clothes to wear later.
i lied to my ex and told her i loved her..... then i really fell in love and she broke my heart.
my step-brother was addicted to heroin and played me to the left. i got upset with him and turned him away from then forward. .. .. He died later that year of an overdose... i couldnt see he wanted help,., not to hurt me....
i helped a family in needd... i bouthgt them food and loaned one man some money. he swore and swore he'd pay me back....when he didnt i insulted him and his way of living. , . They really truly need help but, i'd rather let them suffer and die on their own terms.
im 22 and still get embarrassed of talking with ladies infront of my friends. guess im trying to hide my soft side....
a few years ago someone offeered to pay for my college and to set me up with a job. i turned them down. stating i didnt want to play the 'monopoly of money'. now i see the whole world is monopolized and i turned down the only free ride i may ever be offered. regret is sinking in...
my sister and i were molested as kids... she doesnt remember and not even the therapists i go to are willing to talk about what happened...
even though i see how the structure of religion brought about the modern era, i still look down on anyone who really believes in a 'savior' or can 'talk to god'
i have a friend who's been there for me the past decade or more anytime i needed someone. the bond is stronger than any i've had with another human being.... and i just want to put my dick inside of her.... -_-
i stole jewels from my grandma... and lost them...
Legit. tried to kill myself with a bottle of pills. prescription pills... was high for 4 days, pupils dilated teh whole time.
i havent told my friends about my fem or gay tendencies but anytime something related comes up in conversation i defend the rights and honor of likeminded people.
wearing womens clothing excites me. it's something i'd like to do on a daily basis. but i bottle myself up for the sake of other people, societal functionality, and respect from people that (if they knew me) i wouldnt want anyway.
a few friends and i destroyed houses under construction.
my dog has a fat tumor in his chest... but i wont focus in and get it removed cause im a cheap/broke fuck.
i really despise lying.. and liars... unless i decide it is/was ABSOLUTELY necessary
this girl (dating) took me out a few times. she'd do it to talk about fucked up shit. and every time she did i just got up and left.
2 out of 3 'true loves' never had sex. and the one love that did just wants to be my friend..... i tell her but i dont think she really knows what it does to me when we go out or talk. having that 'you're the one' feeling and it being denied.... there's a hole in my chest that burns.. anytime i see or hear her..... i want to run away from her. i did it before. but this most recent time our paths crossed again...and she's still aruond.. made me promise to her not to run.. like she saw me doing it again and again then caught me and basically said 'hey, dont do that to me again.' secretly i delete her number everytime she calls then find ways and reasons to keep us apart. i feel like a coward... but why would someone that 'loves' want me to suffer in such a cruel uncontrollable way.? i'm currently engaged in a (not so real) 'fuck partnership' for the reason of keeping her at distance. and have plans to once and for all discommunicate the only true love left in my life... in hopes that it stops hurting so much, the feelings/memories will fade away, and i can move on in life like a sociopath
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